“I’m good. Just one day at a time, ya know?”
These simple words from a client sparked new thoughts for me today. One of the most difficult things for people right now is living in a constant state of unknown. Fear mounts each day as the news brings us more loss and uncertainty: more deaths, new cases, continued time away from family and friends.
Humans do not do unknown well.
We can’t figure out what’s happening from one moment to the next, which means all planning has stopped. Now, if you’re a planner like me, this is unsettling. I love to plan ahead; I usually have my calendar booked out at least a month in advance with work events, social events, clients…I even plan family time. My fiance and stepdaughter are very patient with me.
But now, our calendar is clear. Work has changed course, social events aren’t happening, and wedding planning has come to a drastic slow down.
We just are.
But despite being forced to live in the present moment, slowly but surely, the uncertainty is becoming less and less uncomfortable; I’m experiencing life as it’s happening, and my experiences are so much richer than when they are peppered with worry over the future. The dozens of blue jays gathering food outside my home office window do not go unnoticed. I walk the dogs without music to focus on them and listen to nature around me. Board games are now a Friday night tradition, cooking together is the new date night, and forced homeschooling has strengthened the bond I have with my stepdaughter.
We never truly know what tomorrow holds, even if we have tricked ourselves into thinking we do. Planning has allowed us to maintain a sense of control over our lives, but in doing so, we’ve forgotten to control the present.
When my client spoke those simple words to me this morning, it brought to mind a concept I heard in coaching school*: “Now is all there ever is.”
I can’t help but think that we can learn many things during this pandemic: Perhaps feeling a loss of control over the future so we can learn to live in the present is one of them.
*iPEC School of coaching, www.ipeccoaching.com
Margaret McCormick is a core energy coach in the Austin area. She partners with survivors of unexpected life events to help them regain control over their minds, bodies, and spirits.